Boredom-How It Can Damage A Great Relationship

This is a topic that I'm sure men will want to read. I call it being bored in a relationship. Actually this will also be a topic that women want to read too. When I talk about the issue of "boredom" many will think, " How can you be bored in a relationship". Well if you have been in a long-term relationship then it’s self-explanatory. Many times we get bored simply because the relationship has become repetitious. The every day life of the couple seems to not change. You go to work, come home, make dinner, watch some TV, go to sleep, the next day everything happens all over again. This can lead to boredom, which can also lead to a cheating spouse or lover. For one when we think boredom we think "lacking motivation, no energy, no stamina". This is true in relationships. You lack energy and motivation in the relationship so many times we seek excitement elsewhere. Now this is great news if you are seeking the excitement in a new hobby and hopefully the hobby is not with someone else. I mean cheating! I know this is a tough situation because then we begin to look among ourselves and question, " are we considered dull and boring that our lovers had to seek someone else to find this new excitement". Many times its difficult to seek the excitement together by going away on vacation, taking a quick trip out of the city for a day, or starting a new hobby together. If both of you have a hectic schedule then trying to make time for one another can be tough.This then takes you back to "well if this person was bored with me and used the excuse of we have no time or money then how were they able to make time and money for this other person". Obviously if this person wants a relationship to work then they can make the time and find other financial sources to get away for a day or two. There are a few factors to look intoHow do you both define excitement?Are both of you bored and tired of the relationship? Then you have bigger problemsDo you both love one another enough to want to make this relationship work?These are a few questions to ask yourselves before making an impulsive move. If you both think of the word "excitement" and one thinks off roading while the other thinks shopping then you both need to find a compromise. Take a quick trip away to a county or town were you both can compromise and get the best of both worlds. If you sit there and complain that you can't afford to get away for a day or two on a regular basis then you both are making excuses to not work on the relationship. I remember being on my last few dollars and both me and (my not ex) were down and depressed that money was not coming in from his business. With just $250 we took a trip to Vegas, got a hotel room and enjoyed spending a couple days in a city with lights and glamour. We had fun, won some money and came back rejuvenated and focused. It helped give our relationship a nice little kick of excitement. You both have to be open to experiment and fun. If someone is making excuses as to why it can't happen then they really don't want to make the relationship work. We then go onto the next topic.If both of you are tired of the relationship then why are you together in the first place. Are you together because you are both co-dependent on one another. If this is for financial reasons then this situation won't last long. If you are both together because both of you are afraid of being alone then you have some emotional issues. One day you both need some therapy to move on with your lives. Usually what happens is one person will be looking for a new relationship while living with the current partner. One day the current partner will say " I don't love you anymore, move out" You will be left with dismay and shock. Even questioning what went wrong when the signs were there all along. It's a time bomb waiting to happen but we always want to be the first one's to find the new person so we can be the one's to say, " I don't love you no more, I'm leaving or you move out". This lets you move on with a proud smile on your face. Being co-dependent is not healthy whether this is for financial or emotional reasons.Do you love one another enough to want to make this relationship work? It’s about being willing to compromise with each other. If you hear constant excuses then you will not get far. Both parties need to want to make the relationship work. You can't be investing 100% while the other person only invest 10% back. You will just drain yourself out and get bored of the relationship, and leave. Again this is not a healthy situation. So the best thing to do is approach the other person and say " I really feel it would be nice if we could _______. This can help us to get out or spend some time together, have some fun, or get out for the day". Take a subtle calm approach and you will receive a better response. If you bring up the topic and you hear a bunch of excuses then you need to begin to question the relationship. You may even feel that this person just simply does not want to spend time with you but instead would rather spend time with other or stay at home. Your next response should be "if you are not willing to spend some time then your sending me the message of you don't care about my feelings or of our relationship". I know this sounds too dramatic but it does work. This works if only the other person does care deeply for you that when you sit there and explain how you feel they will feel compassion for you. If you don't get much of a response then give it a few days and bring up the topic again. I say give it a week. I will talk about other communication break through in other article. Keep an eye for new articles being posted regularly. Well focus on building some fun and excitement for your relationship so it does not become stale. This helps and will prevent someone cheating or emotionally seeking attention elsewhere.

Cynthia

The Psychic OnePsychic

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